By Alan Graner

Ah yes, time for the annual Stella Awards, named in honor of Stella Lieback who successfully sued McDonald’s Restaurants.

The crime: In 1992 the New Mexico McDonald’s willfully and wantonly sold Stella Lieback a cup of hot coffee!

She placed the cup between her knees, pulled open the lid to add cream and sugar and spilled the entire cup of coffee in her lap, scalding her skin and suffering third degree burns on her thighs, buttocks and groin.

She spent eight days in the hospital getting skin grafts.

Her attorneys argued McDonald’s coffee was “defective,” i.e., it was hotter than any other restaurants’ coffee and therefore more likely to cause a serious injury.

The verdict: The jury awarded Stella $160,000 to cover medical expenses and compensatory damages, and $2.7 million in punitive damages. (The judge later reduced the amount awarded.)

And thus was born the Stella Awards, given out each year for the most outrageous frivolous lawsuit.

Without further ado, the 2012 Stella Awards. The envelopes please. And the winners are….

5^th Place (tie): Ms. Kathleen Robertson, Austin, Texas

The crime: She broke her ankle tripping over a toddler running inside a furniture store. The misbehaving child? It was hers.

The verdict: The jury awarded her $80,000.

5^th Place (tie): Mr. Carl Truman, Los Angeles

The crime: His neighbor drove over his hand…while Mr. Truman was stealing the car’s hubcaps.

The verdict: The jury awarded him $74,000 plus medical expenses.

5^th Place (tie): Mr. Terrence Dickson, Bristol, Pennsylvania

The crime: After robbing a house, Mr. Dickson escaped through the garage, little knowing the automatic door opener was malfunctioning while the connecting door to the house automatically locked when it was closed. Since the family was on vacation, Mr. Dickson remained trapped in the garage for eight days with only a case of Pepsi-Cola and a large bag of dry dog food to keep him alive.

The verdict: The jury awarded him $500,000 for undue mental anguish.

4^th Place: Mr. Jerry Williams, Little Rock, Arkansas

The crime: Mr. Williams climbed over the fence into his neighbor’s yard where a beagle was chained, and began shooting the dog repeatedly with a pellet gun. For some reason, the dog reacted unkindly, biting Mr. Williams on the buttocks.

The verdict: The jury awarded him $14,500 plus medical expenses.

3^rd Place: Ms. Amber Carson, Lancaster, Pennsylvania

The crime: While arguing with her boyfriend in a Philadelphia restaurant, Ms. Carson angrily threw a soft drink at her boyfriend, then slipped on the spilled beverage and broke her tailbone.

The verdict: The jury directed the restaurant to pay her $113,500.

2^nd Place: Ms. Kara Walton, Claymont, Delaware

The crime: As Ms. Walton attempted to sneak into a night club through the ladies bathroom window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, she fell to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth.

The verdict: The jury awarded her $12,000 plus dental expenses.

1^st Place: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, Oklahoma City

The crime: On her first trip in her new 32-foot Winnebago motor home, Mrs. Grazinski entered the freeway, set the cruise control at 70 mph, then strolled into the back to make herself a sandwich. The unattended motor home drove off the freeway, crashed and overturned. She sued Winnebago because their owner’s manual never warned her not to leave the driver’s seat.

The verdict: The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. (And yes, Winnebago changed its owner’s manuals.)

As someone once said, “Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.”

What are your reactions?

Image: Wikimedia.org

Alan Graner is Chief Creative Officer at Daly-Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. If you want “outrageous” PR that gets results,  email Jeffrey Swartz at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

This is a synopsis of a Dow Jones & Company copyrighted article—“Drucker on Management: The Five Deadly Business Sins”—published in the Wall Street Journal on October 21, 1993.

Peter Drucker, the guru of business management, wrote several definitive books on the subject.

Although this article is almost 20 years old and some economic conditions have changed, the principles remain valid as Mr. Drucker explains why once-dominant businesses such as General Motors, IBM and Sears declined. Since then, General Motors emerged from bankruptcy to once again lead the world in total automobile sales, surpassing Toyota. IBM exited the PC business. And Sears’ decline continues.

Sin #1: Worshipping high profit margins and “premium pricing”

Example: Xerox Corporation, which invented the photocopier, began adding ever more features to drive up the profit margin and increase the stock price. Most consumers, however, wanting only a basic machine, turned to Xerox’s competitors instead. Xerox barely survived.

Sin #2: Mispricing a new product by charging “what the market will bear”

Example: Again, Xerox charged the highest prices possible when they first produced the photocopier. New Japanese competitors charged about 40% less and came to dominate the market.

Sin #3: Cost-driven pricing

Example: Consumer electronics industry. American companies totaled costs and added a profit margin on top and eventually abandoned many of their products because they were priced incorrectly to begin with.

The Japanese, on the other hand, used price-led costing—start out with a good price and then reduce costs through efficiency and productivity.

Sin #4: Slaughtering tomorrow’s opportunity on the altar of yesterday

Example: Although IBM once dominated the personal computer business, it was subordinated to mainframe sales—their old cash cow—even forbidding the sale of PCs to potential mainframe businesses. Instead of creating new mainframe sales, PC sales were stunted, opening the way for “clones” to take over the market. IBM no longer sells PCs.

Sin #5: Feeding problems and starving opportunities

Example: Sears.

In many companies the best-performing people are assigned to solving problems, i.e., damage containment for old business. Meanwhile, opportunities are ignored—and only opportunities produce results and growth.

What are some examples you’ve observed?

Image: Simona Dumitru

Alan Graner is Chief Creative Officer at Daly-Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. When you need an effective PR campaign to take advantage of opportunities, email Jeffrey Swartz at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

Recently CareerBuilders published its latest nationwide survey on outrageous excuses employees used for being late.

The report, conducted by Harris Interactive© between November 9 and December 5, 2011, surveyed 7,000 U.S. employees and 3,000 employers from a multitude of industries and company sizes.

Not surprisingly, the four most common reasons for being late to work will shock nobody:

1. Traffic: 31% of workers
2. Lack of sleep: 18%
3. Bad weather: 11 %
4. Take kids to school/daycare: 8%

Outrageous reasons for being tardy

But CareerBuilders is not interested in “business as usual.” Once again they asked hiring managers for the most outrageous excuses employees use. This is what they shared:

• Employee’s cat had the hiccups.
• Employee thought she had won the lottery (she didn’t).
• Employee got distracted watching the TODAY Show.
• Employee’s angry roommate cut the cord to his phone charger, so it didn’t charge and his alarm didn’t go off.
• Employee believed his commute time should count toward his work hours.
• Employee claimed a fox stole her car keys.
• Employee’s leg was trapped between the subway car and the platform (turned out to be true).
• Employee said he wasn’t late because he had no intention of getting to work before 9:00 a.m. (his start time was 8:00 a.m.)
• Employee was late because of a job interview with another firm.
• Employee had to take a personal call from the state governor (turned out to be true).

Excuses from past surveys included:

• A chicken attacked my mom.
• My finger was stuck in a bowling ball.
• My hair transplant went bad.
• I fell asleep at my desk while working and hit my head, causing a neck injury.
• A cow broke into my house and I had to wait for the insurance man.
• My foot was caught in the garbage disposal.
• I called in sick from a bar at 5:00 p.m. the night before.
• I wasn’t feeling too clever that day.
• I had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the home owner’s association
• I called (the day after Thanksgiving) because I burned my mouth on a pumpkin pie.
• I was in a boat on Lake Erie and ran out of gas and the coast guard towed me to the Canadian side.
• I got sunburned at a nude beach and can’t wear clothes.
• I got caught selling an alligator.
• My buddies locked me in the trunk of an abandoned car after a weekend of drinking.
• My mom said I was not allowed to go to work today.
• A bee flew in my mouth.
• I’m just not into it today.
• I accidentally hit a nun with my motorcycle.
• A random person threw poison ivy in my face and now I have a rash.
• I’m convinced my spouse is having an affair and I’m staying home to catch them.
• I was injured chasing a seagull.
• I have a headache from eating hot peppers.

Now if you’re late for work tomorrow, you don’t have an excuse for not having an excuse.

What’s the most outrageous excuse you’ve ever heard (or used) ?

Image: Pauline Eccles

Alan Graner is Chief Creative Officer at Daly-Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. For an effective PR campaign that’s on time, on target and on budget, email Jeffrey Swartz at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

At the dawn of the Automotive Age, roads were usually dirt, which turned to mud in the rainy season. As cars drove through the mud, they left ruts in the road. When the ruts reached a certain depth, they actually guided the car along—think of it as a rudimentary automated highway. You could practically take your hands off the wheel and your car would continue without variance.

The only difficulty occurred when you came to a turnoff. Now the ruts worked against you, making it difficult to exit the road.

The deeper the rut, the harder to leave.

Progress without change

Businesses also get into ruts.

Many of us want to progress into the uncertain future doing what what’s comfortably familiar because change is scary. What if it doesn’t work? What if I fail? What if I lose my job/company?

One way of dealing with this challenge is to look at things from a different angle.

Opportunity only comes when you’re looking for it

At one time books were written or copied by hand, and few could afford them. Then Gutenberg looked at it from a different angle. By using moveable type, he could produce books faster and cheaper, which lead to an explosion of knowledge.

At one time developing photographs was so complicated, only the elite could take them. Then George Eastman looked at it from a different angle and invented an easier method: film. Suddenly everyone could afford still cameras and movie cameras, spawning two major industries: photography and movies.

At one time we rented movies by going to a local video store. Then Reed Hastings looked at rental distribution from a different angle—rentals by mail—and Netflix was born.

Throughout history people have looked at innovations—paper, steam, the Internet—and used them to look at to view old problems in new ways. The result was books, the Industrial Age, iTunes.

Here’s looking at you, kid

If you’ve always manufactured or distributed or marketed or sold your products/services in a certain way, try looking at it from a different angle.

Write a list of 10 important reasons why you should change the way you currently do business. Or 10 reasons why what you’re doing now won’t work in the future.

Look for two or three cutting-edge innovations that could revolutionize your industry.

Redefine what it is you do, keeping in mind that if railroads thought of themselves as transportation companies instead of rail companies, they might be running the airlines today.

There will always be opportunities on the rutted road. But there may be even better ones off to the side. If you never take a look, you’ll never know what you missed.

And you may leave a great opportunity for someone else to find.

How does your company embrace change?

Image: Andy F

Alan Graner is Chief Creative Officer at Daly-Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. If you want a PR campaign that generates new opportunities, email Jeffrey Swartz at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

You’ve done it maybe dozens of times. You type a URL and suddenly you find yourself on a strange website.

Instantly you know the problem. You misspelled the URL. Maybe you added a letter, left one out, transposed a couple. So you hit your forehead or emit an exasperated snort and reenter the correct URL.

Just minor inconvenience. Right?

Wrong, Sunshine. That little error can get you into big trouble.

Or so says a new report on typosquatting by Sophos, the IT security and data protection company.

What is typosquatting?

According to Sophos, “Typosquatters register mis-spellings of popular domains in the hope that they will be able to make money out of traffic from unintentional typing mistakes, or fat-finger errors, made by internet surfers.”

Unbeknownst to most of us, there is an entire typosquatting subculture mostly built around popular domain names like Apple, Google and Facebook. Like trapdoor spiders, they lurk in cyberspace, waiting for us to accidently land on their website…and then they pounce.

SophosLabs compiled a list of one-letter misspellings for five highly popular destinations (six counting their own website) trying to discover how many fat-finger errors led to typosquatting sites. The results were astounding.

What awaits you on typosquatting sites?

Incredibly, only 0.01% of typosquatting sites infected visitors with malware.

The reason for such a low infection rate?

“There are only so many plausible ways to mis-spell words like Facebook and Sophos, so typosquatters have an interest in avoiding malware….[T]yposquatters can’t just get up and move on if one of their domains gets an unarguably malicious reputation.”

This could be bad for business because most typosquatting sites exist to make money. The data reveal that 34% of typosquatting domains can be categorized as follows:

So typosquatting is basically benign, no?

Not exactly.

Danger Will Robinson!

Besides the danger of cybercrime or infection, there are other hazards to avoid, such as:

• Bait and switch: Typosquatters for popular destinations like iTunes redirect you to their own websites where they hope to induce to use their services instead.
• Brand abuse: Typosquatters pass their bogus sites off as the real thing. So when you type “Googel,” for example, you end up on a fake Google website that looks exactly like the real thing. The payoff? When you click on a revenue-generating link, the money goes to the typosquatter.

Conclusion

At best, typosquatters hope to make money off your mistyping. At worst, they lead you into risky online actions. Just be aware.

For the complete Sophos report, “Typosquatting—what happens when you mistype a website name?”—visit the Naked Security Blog at http://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/typosquatting/.

Do you have any typosquatting misadventures you’d like to share?

Image: Ilker

Alan Graner is Chief Creative Officer at Daly-Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. For powerful PR that gets results, email Jeffrey Swartz by carefully typing jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

As we speak, dark creatures of the night—lexicologists—are  scouring printed and spoken material seeking words that are rarely, if ever, used. Their goal: kicking these rarely used words out of the English language.

Why? Because (they whine) there isn’t enough space in their dictionaries! They must make room for newer and shinier words.

At this point you are probably thinking, “So?”

Well me Bucko, do you want to watch  polar bears become extinct? Bald eagles? Pac Man? Sears?

Are words any less worthy of life?

The niddering Concise Oxford English Dictionary (OED)

Nina Rastogi, writing in Slate.com, reports the Concise OED must eliminate 200 old words to make room for 400 new ones. A malison upon their heads!

Some of the words being tossed on the lexicology ash heap are:

And what are their replacements? Such neoteric upstarts as:

Cyberbullying

Domestic goddess

Mankini

Retweet

Sexting

Woot

I mean, really!. These words are “so important,” they’re not even listed in my Spell Check. Vilipendous!

The olid Collins English Dictionary

To make room for 2,000 new entries, the word-devils at Collins are also putting some older words out to pasture.

After much sleuthing, warrior-scribe Alan Baxter  managed to find a list of words Collins has placed on the endangered list. They include:

The time to act is now, people!

Take these nitid words to heart. Embrace them. Use them. Find ways to slip them into your blogs and articles and websites and blistering letters to the editor.

Otherwise caliginosity will descend upon the world.

If you know of other endangered words, please, alert your fellow readers now.

Image: Giovanni Dall’Orto

Alan Graner is Chief Creative Officer at Daly Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. If your company, products and/or services are in danger of being ignored, email Jeffrey Swartz ASAP at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

The following is a synopsis from Successful Cold Call Selling by Lee Boyal (1983). The book may be out of print.

Disclosure: We are not affiliated with any bookstores and don’t get a dime for recommending books. We should. But we don’t.

“The more I think about prospects the more good ones seem to turn up for me.”

–Gary Flaherty

Suspects or prospects

Simply accumulating names sometimes is referred to as suspecting.  True prospecting involves gathering specific information that gives some indication of the likelihood that an individual or organization would be a buyer of your product/service.

How to get referrals from customers

The more satisfied your customers are, the higher the quality of leads you’ll get from them.

Making after-the-sale follow-up and service calls is time wisely invested.  If the customer really isn’t satisfied, all too many salespeople would rather avoid that confrontation.  Yet, they should be the first to know if there is any kind of problem so it can be taken care of.  Otherwise, acquaintances of the customer are forever lost as prospects.

Before you ask for referrals, it’s important to get your customer into a frame of mind that is conducive to giving you the best possible names.

Be different.  Your first order of business is helping others instead of yourself.  Emphasize solving problems, on making life and business better for your customer’s friends.

Know who you are looking for

Develop a profile of who is your best prospect.  List your best customers.  Study the characteristics they have in common.  When asking for referrals, mention these characteristics.

Everybody is a source of leads

Be active in trade or professional associations, service organizations and community projects.

Fairs and trade shows

In a survey by the Trade Show Bureau,  57% of attendees were looking for new products/services.  The rest are looking for a chance to learn what’s new.

Always be looking. Don’t walk by and wonder. Step in and find out!

Always be looking

When you’re driving around, keep your eyes open for prospects. If you see a business with potential, don’t drive by and wonder. Step in and find out!

In fact, occasionally take alternative routes to see whether you can find anything new.

Keep good records

Whenever you plan to work a certain area, take the entire file of prospects for that locality.  Any open time can be profitably used by making some prospect calls.

What are some of the techniques you use to find prospects?

Image: Tony Oliver

Alan Graner is Chief Creative Officer at Daly-Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. If you want a PR campaign that generates qualified prospects (and sales) email Jeffrey Swartz at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

In keeping with the profound intellectual tenor of this blog, and with a tip of the hat to the holiday season, we ask the philosophical question: How tall is that movie star, really?

In movie theaters they all look 10 feet tall. For many male actors, however, their height is a closely guarded secret.

Today we shall fearlessly share those secrets.

Here then are the heights of selected movie stars, celebrities and famous persons. For a more complete list, please visit www.CelebHeights.com.

Now you know. (But don’t tell anybody.)

Image: First National Pictures

Alan Graner is Chief Creative Officer at Daly-Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. For a PR plan that makes you stand out, email Jeffrey Swartz at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

I’m tired of introducing myself to people at networking events only to have them stare at me quizzically and remind me we met last time…and the time before that.

It’s embarrassing.

For years I thought it was a symptom of getting old (“It’s a pity—dementia, you know”). Or (gasp) even worse: Alzheimer’s!

If you forget a name it’s not your fault. It’s theirs!

At least, that’s what PSYBLOG claims.

One popular explanation for our inability to remember names is they have weak semantic hooks: There’s usually no association between a name and how a person looks or her profession or age or social class.

As a result, our brains consider names meaningless, even if they do have meaning. For example, many surnames cite the original ancestor’s profession (Baker) or location (von Strasburg) or son of (McTavish, Olson, etc.) But still we can’t remember them.

The article states, “Oddly we find it easier to remember that a person is a potter, i.e., makes pots, than if their surname is actually Potter.”

The inability to remember names can lead to crazy conversations in which no names are ever mentioned, a phenomenon I like to call…

Whosis Dialogues

Hey, remember that actor?

Which one?

The one that was in that movie with the horse?

The cowboy picture?

Yeah, that’s the one.

Right, he was married to whosis.

I know. I love her. What was that movie was she in?

I think it was the one where she saves the earth from giant rats….

How to remember names

OK, so how DO you remember names?

One method is to give names meaning by making a memorable association in your mind.

For example, you can assign the person a nickname that ties him to a particular trait or event, such as “Red” or “Slim” or “Spilled your beer on me.”

A better solution, I think, is requiring everyone to go through life wearing a name tag.

Still, if you continue to forget names, relax. Apparently it’s normal.

The only time you have to worry is if the name you forget is yours.

What tricks do you use for remembering names?

Image: Rex Roof

Alan Graner (Latin for “brilliant writer”) is Chief Creative Officer at Daly Swartz Public Relations, an Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. If prospects have difficulty remember your company’s name, email Jeffrey Swartz (Latin for “I’ll make you memorable”) at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.

By Alan Graner

Previously we looked at phobias and how fear can harm your business.

Now we’ll explore ways to overcome and/or alleviate the fears of prospects and customers so they will choose you over the competition.

One proven way is to reduce or eliminate risk.

Fear of the unknown

Suppose you’re a start-up or early stage business vigorously pursuing new business.

You immediately face several significant fears:

• They don’t know who you are.
• They don’t know if your products/services are any good.
• They don’t know if your products/services are right for them.
• They don’t know if your products/services will actually work as promised.
• They don’t know if you’ll still be in business next month.

How can you convince them to buy from you?

Overcoming fear of the unknown

There are several ways to overcome the fear of the unknown. For example, you can:

• Demo your products/services.
• Offer an ironclad money-back guarantee.
• Allow them to try it free for 30/60/90 days.
• Offer significant discounts.
• Emphasize the successful track records of your management team.
• Stress testimonials and case studies.
• Associate with another company they trust.
• Build confidence in your brand through public relations. (Blatantly self-serving, but true.)

What you must do is convince prospects and customers they won’t lose their jobs if they buy from you. They won’t lose time. They won’t lose productivity. They won’t lose money. And they won’t get yelled at by the Big Boss.

Simple, no?

No.

Remember, a phobia be irrational, but to the phobee it’s as real as concrete.

What advice do you have to overcome prospects’ and customers’ fears?

Image: Francisco de Goya

Alan Graner is the stouthearted Chief Creative Officer at Daly-Swartz Public Relations, an intrepid Orange County, CA marketing communications firm. If you want a PR campaign you can depend on, email Jeffrey Swartz at jeffreyswartz@dsprel.com.